Jabberwocky II

A continuation of the strange and ludicrous story of Jeweeavop Vagonadgroins.

For the enjoyment of a certain Paul and myself

The Tales of Jeweeavop Vagonadgroins

Part two: Positive Action

Jeweeavop Vagonadgroins gave an audible sigh, blowing her stacked post-it notes onto the floor. She pulled out a large sheet of graphed paper and traced her finger along the descending line that represented Labianair's ever decreasing profits. She would have to give a presentation tomorrow at a morning meeting with the shareholders of her distinguished airline company. They would ask troubling and probing questions about the distinct lack of profit, the apparently poor food service on board the planes and enquire into the truth about a particurlarly vicious rumour that was circling the business world about Labianair not allowing passengers on board who wore toupees in fear of them blocking the air vent systems. This rumour was a sore point for the board of shareholders, as most of them were indeed toupee wearers, although not all were wearers of the toupee that donned the human head. Many had wigs for different occasions.

Unfortunately for Jeweeavop, this rumour was in fact true. She had banned toupee wearing on her flights due to one incident where a man's wig was sucked into the air cleansing system, causing all passengers who turned on their air conditioning to be masked in waves of fake, wispy air. Maybe that's why I have lost business, she mused. All the businessmen who used my service were wig wearers. They make up the bulk of my customers. She slapped the palm of her hand against her forehead. Why hadn't I thought of that before? Jeweeavop forcefully pushed the dark red button on the side of her desk and her assistant Muffy made her way into the office.

"Yes Ms Vagonadgroins?" Muffy picked at the dirty jizzy spot on the sleeve of her old jumper.
"My meeting tomorrow, when is it?"
Muffy flicked through the purple filofax she carried in her hand. "11 o'clock."
Jeweeavop slammed her hand down on the desk in joy. "I have time." She bent over and picked up her bag which contained the quim she had been so severly concerned about. "Tell Quiffetidbrain to move his appointment with me to another day. I have other things to get on with today."
"But..but Quiffetidbrain said he couldn't rearrange. He is off to Mauritius in two days."
Jeweeavop growled. "Well fuck him then. I don't have time to bow down to that complete toss pot. I have a business to save goddamit!" Without realising, Jeweeavop had unintentionally grabbed Muffy by the shoulders and shook her. She stepped back and let out an awkward cough. "Sorry about that Muffy."
The assistant re-arranged her skewed glasses and pushed thme back on her nose. "No problem Ms Vagonadgroins. I know you get very passionate when it comes to Labianair. I'll try and rearrange the meeting with Quiffetidbrain for another day."
"Thank you Muffy. Now put your knickers on and get me a cup of tea."
Muffy nodded her head in affirmation before leaving the room.

Taking her seat back behind her desk, Jeweeavop flipped open her black leather bag and pulled out her quim. To her delight it was no longer running like shockingly made custard, but a healthy medium. Ideally, Jeweeavop would want her quim to be viscous but hopefully her quim would develop the right consistency over the course of the day as long as she stayed positive.

Jeweeavop smiled before placing the quim back into her bag. It was going to be a productive day.