Cod and Beef

After a, quite frankly, crap year that was 2009, I am hoping for better things in this frst year of a new decade. A job being high on that list, above a new haircut, some jeans and a new bra.

Hopefully, I will keep a closer eye on this damn thing too. But because I'm such a boring and uninsightful entity, I doubt there will be too much to write about.

So I give you this video containing my new favourite saying..."I will not eat the pissy biscuit."

OH! OH! OH!

OH! Christopher Walken how awesome you are.

Family Pleasantries

Of all the people in the world, it's your parents who sure know how to make a good compliment.

8:30 last night

Me: What?
Dad: You have a lazy eye.
Me: What? No I don't.
Dad: Your right eye. It's lazy.
Me: No it's not
Dad: (exaggerating) It's nearly half shut.
Me: Well so is yours.
Dad: No it's not.
Me: Yes it is.
Dad: Oh shut up.
Me: Have I got a lazy eye?
Boyfriend: No. I can't see it from here
Dad: Well he needs glasses anyway.
Me: So do you.
Dad: Pfft. Well you know what I mean.

So thank you dad for pointing out I possibly have a lazy eye when I'm tired. Don't make me more paranoid than I already am.

Don't you just love parents.

Still No Luck

It's been too long...again. I thought making a blog would mean I would have something regular to update but now it turns out my life has nothing to offer that would be interesting enough to put on here. So excuse me while I try and make my life more exciting. It can't be much less interesting than it is at the moment.

I need some crisps.

You Can Never Call A Show Cornflakes

The title has no relevance whatsoever to the content of this particular post. I am not part of a show nor have I had any cornflakes this morning. (If you must know I had a sausage sandwich complete with lashings of tomato ketchup, but that's beside the point.) But I thought the upkeep of this thing was important so let's push on. I don't really have a particular coherent thread running through any of this so I have decided to recap general goings on in the form of a simple list style.

Joys:
- I actually have new clothes meaning I am no longer swanning around in clothes with copious amounts of holes in and walking in shoes that have a steep gradiant on their heel. A new jumper is part of my recent purchases and I love it so much I really don't want to take it off ever again.
- I had a sausage sandwich this morning, as already mentioned above.
- My Empire magazine actually came on time this month so now I don't have to spout off about the sheer incompetence of the Royal Mail.
- I have procured ten pounds which means my purse in no longer just a hiding place for my cards, old receipts and pieces of light shy lint.
- The first two episodes of the sixth series of House were great to watch giving me hope that this series will be better than the morbidly depressing fifth.
- Couple this with the new programme of Channel5, Flashforward, and I pretty much have my television options sorted for the next six months.
- My room is clean.
- The team I was on won the pub last Monday after several attempts of trying. The joy was almost too much to bear.

Disappointments:
- I still haven't been paid due to some incompetent jocks pissing around with my money across the border. So I am midly pissed off but very poor indeed.
- My favourite t-shirt has a hole in it. This makes me very sad indeed.
- I tried to start a diary, again, and failed after two entries, again. I had even gone to the trouble of decorating the damn thing with giraffe and penguin stickers. What a pissing waste.
- Muse's new album. Apart from the Exogensis Symphony at the end, which is phenomenal by the way, I am just not feeling it at all. Seems to be trying too hard to be overblown and grandiose. It's a shame really because I bloody like them.
- Someone has ate all the KitKats and I know fine well it wasn't me.

So there you go. The last two weeks condensed into succinct points. How exciting.

A Quality Family Exchange

Scene: Myself, Uncle D, Aunt S, Andy and Gran are all sitting in the living room observing Manchester United vs Manchester City on Sky Sports 1

Uncle D: *chuckles* "That was never a free kick."
Andrew: "It was like. He tackled him from behind."
Uncle D: "Bah." *waves hand* "They just fall over at nowt these days."

Uncle D shifts in his seat while Andrew sips a drink of his warm cup of tea.

Gran: "Who's playing in this one?"
Me: "Man U and Man City. It's a Manchester derby."

Gran nods and leans back on her chair.
(The current score is 3-2 to Man Utd with five minutes of normal time to go)

Me: "Man City are going to score another one I reckon."
Andrew: "Aye. I reckon they are an all."
Aunt S: "Is Michael Owen on yet?"
Uncle D: "Aye. They've just brought him on."
Me: "For Berbatov."
Aunt S: "Ohh right."
Gran: "Doc Martin has got a lovechild you know?"
Everyone: "What?"
Gran: "It said so in the TV mag."
Everyone: "..."

Confused glances are exchanged between all parties expect Gran who keeps her observation the television.

Aunt S: (mouths in my direction) What is she talking about?
Me: *shrugs* Gran? You mean the bloke on the tele?
Gran: Yes. The TVmag says he has a child. I never liked him. He has a weird ilk.
Me: Me dad watches it.
Gran: *shakes her head* No. I don't like it.
Uncle D: What's this got to do with the football? *turning to me* What's she saying?
Me: The bloke off the tele. Martin Clunes. The Doc Martin thing is back on tonight.
Uncle D: Oh. I thought you were talking about the shoes.
Gran: What?
Uncle D: Nothing mother. Doesn't matter.

Who doesn't love a decent conversation about football being interrupted by some grandma discussing whether or not a character on tv portrayed by Martin Clunes has a secret lovechild.

Glimmers

Well more like tiny shafts of light shining into this dank and dark pit of life. It's true that I still don't have a job, and my application to work in the Northumbria University library was unsuccessful. I am still undeniably very much on the poor side so I haven't bought any new clothes in about two months or had a haircut since March. My only source of relief from this pretty dull existence is my friends (what a bunch of nice people, putting up with me all the time), some choice cuts of television joy, the library and Sky Movies.

My weeks have consisted of sit, eat, sleep, sit, eat, quiz, sleep, sit, eat, quiz, sleep, sit, eat, work, sit, sleep............... I think you get the picture from that small example.

But some joy is starting to emerge from my stale existence. I have learned a couple of my friends from university are in fact staying 'oop North' despite the shitty job prospects for graduates, meaning i have more people to bum around with when other mates are at work. A few friends who I lost touch with after the end of high school have got back in touch, cueing some weird and wonderful meetings and discussions about life in general not to mention the juicy gossip that is being swapped between us all. It has been a very pleasent experience to see how old friends have grown and changed for the better.

On a more shallow footing, House is back for a new series which means for the next six months my Sky+ will be busy busy recording every episode. And here is me hoping that it will be better than series 5, which was a bit too morbid and depressing for my liking, and the show will gain back some of it's snarky joy that was in the earlier series.

But I am sitting and smirking for once instead of bemoaning everything around me, from the shitty cup coasters to the semi-nude gardening neighbour. Good times.